Last time I remembered I didn't ask to grow up. But life i suppose doesn't work that way. Not that I'm complaining by any means. I've experienced more than the average teenager by far. And I do mean that in the most modest and humble way possible. I've traveled out of country and experienced the highs and lows of doing so. I've battled the never-ending fight of eating disorders and deppression. To be honest, Its made me a better person. The experiences I've had have taught me alot as well. When I ran away from home on the 16th of September in 2009, I learnt alot of things that I needed to. Like independance and dependance. Justification of actions and consequences of bad choices, and all the temptations to pull you to the worser side of society. But all of this just made me realize that despite any situations that led me to running away, I have so much going for me. My "writing talents", love for music, appreciation for the opossite sex and hidden personality.
I've found that in life hiding your true self is of no use. Not that we've known ourselves that long, I mean we are still feeling out who we are as people and human beings. But diguising yourself behind cockiness and bitterness is definately to no advantage. Despite the clich'e of "Be yourself...", there is truth to it. If you do act true to your being, there is alot more self satisfaction then pretending to be something completely different, no matter if it's good or bad. Flaws just show that we're all human.
What I'm really getting to is I'm at a crossroads right now. I can go both ways. I have potential to do amazing things, but will I get over whatevers holding me back, or take the easy road. I have no clue... I'm not bitching by any means, this has just been sitting on my mind for a while. But my papa (grandpa) gave me a framed anecdote today called "Desiderata"...
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing of fortunes of time.
Excercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you concieve him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Little food for thought....haha
A little more John Mayer I think...
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to say my life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man, said help me understand, He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate, don't Stop This Train, Don't for a minuete change the place your in, don't think I couldn't ever understand, I've tried my hand, John Honestly, We'll never Stop This Train......."
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