Well now that the only thing on my mind is life, or at least it is lately, I figured I may as well explain how I started off.
My earliest memory I can remember is at my Papas house. My papa is my Dads dad. This was when i had to have been 3, give or take. I was watching cartoons and playing with action figures. My great-grandmother was still alive from what I remember. Thats really all I rememeber at that age. Move on up to about 4 or so. I was in the car with one of my routine ear infections and my mom and dad used to drive me around the block or parking lot to soothe me. Fast forward to maybe 4 and a half or 5 and mom and dad split. I can remember dads rented house while he lived there with his then girlfriend now wife. It was spring or summer from memory, sunny and warm. "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" was on and I got bored and touched a cactus. Then fast forward to Christmas. At dads. I got one of those "Toy Story" aliens and some foam tubes and connectors where you could make huge like dinosaurs or spaceships. Then move on to about a year later and me and mom are in our own house. I don't rememeber a whole lot but it was lonely even at that age. The only memory at that house was spilling the sewing basket and dropping needles on the ground and mom stepped on one...
Thats part 1. of my life...
...To Be Continued...
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Life is an Hourglass glued to a table...
Last time I remembered I didn't ask to grow up. But life i suppose doesn't work that way. Not that I'm complaining by any means. I've experienced more than the average teenager by far. And I do mean that in the most modest and humble way possible. I've traveled out of country and experienced the highs and lows of doing so. I've battled the never-ending fight of eating disorders and deppression. To be honest, Its made me a better person. The experiences I've had have taught me alot as well. When I ran away from home on the 16th of September in 2009, I learnt alot of things that I needed to. Like independance and dependance. Justification of actions and consequences of bad choices, and all the temptations to pull you to the worser side of society. But all of this just made me realize that despite any situations that led me to running away, I have so much going for me. My "writing talents", love for music, appreciation for the opossite sex and hidden personality.
I've found that in life hiding your true self is of no use. Not that we've known ourselves that long, I mean we are still feeling out who we are as people and human beings. But diguising yourself behind cockiness and bitterness is definately to no advantage. Despite the clich'e of "Be yourself...", there is truth to it. If you do act true to your being, there is alot more self satisfaction then pretending to be something completely different, no matter if it's good or bad. Flaws just show that we're all human.
What I'm really getting to is I'm at a crossroads right now. I can go both ways. I have potential to do amazing things, but will I get over whatevers holding me back, or take the easy road. I have no clue... I'm not bitching by any means, this has just been sitting on my mind for a while. But my papa (grandpa) gave me a framed anecdote today called "Desiderata"...
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing of fortunes of time.
Excercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you concieve him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Little food for thought....haha
A little more John Mayer I think...
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to say my life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man, said help me understand, He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate, don't Stop This Train, Don't for a minuete change the place your in, don't think I couldn't ever understand, I've tried my hand, John Honestly, We'll never Stop This Train......."
I've found that in life hiding your true self is of no use. Not that we've known ourselves that long, I mean we are still feeling out who we are as people and human beings. But diguising yourself behind cockiness and bitterness is definately to no advantage. Despite the clich'e of "Be yourself...", there is truth to it. If you do act true to your being, there is alot more self satisfaction then pretending to be something completely different, no matter if it's good or bad. Flaws just show that we're all human.
What I'm really getting to is I'm at a crossroads right now. I can go both ways. I have potential to do amazing things, but will I get over whatevers holding me back, or take the easy road. I have no clue... I'm not bitching by any means, this has just been sitting on my mind for a while. But my papa (grandpa) gave me a framed anecdote today called "Desiderata"...
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing of fortunes of time.
Excercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you concieve him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Little food for thought....haha
A little more John Mayer I think...
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to say my life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man, said help me understand, He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate, don't Stop This Train, Don't for a minuete change the place your in, don't think I couldn't ever understand, I've tried my hand, John Honestly, We'll never Stop This Train......."
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Discovering...
Well It's been a few days...
I am more than excited to say I have found a new music idol... Kiana Grannis... She is a YouTube phenomenon that has had the success rivaling Justin Beiber. I like her so much because her voice is honest and warming. It's just like hearing a lullaby. Plus her taste in music is quite simalar to mine. Her song "Valentine" managed to catch my eye today and I'm happy to say for once that the song is stuck in my head. Her tone of hope yet a dash of meloncholy is exactlly whats needed to create the perfect artist.
As far as her instrumentals, she plays guitar (beautifully I might add), as well as the piano. Her covers are true to the artists of origin but she also manages to put a twist on them making them completely her own. Now as much as I aspire to John Mayer and Teddy Geiger and Rob Thomas, She is the kind of musician I want to be, Great at guitar, writes music like no other, beautiful voice and just all around gorgeous.
It's amazing what you can dig up from YouTube.....
I am more than excited to say I have found a new music idol... Kiana Grannis... She is a YouTube phenomenon that has had the success rivaling Justin Beiber. I like her so much because her voice is honest and warming. It's just like hearing a lullaby. Plus her taste in music is quite simalar to mine. Her song "Valentine" managed to catch my eye today and I'm happy to say for once that the song is stuck in my head. Her tone of hope yet a dash of meloncholy is exactlly whats needed to create the perfect artist.
As far as her instrumentals, she plays guitar (beautifully I might add), as well as the piano. Her covers are true to the artists of origin but she also manages to put a twist on them making them completely her own. Now as much as I aspire to John Mayer and Teddy Geiger and Rob Thomas, She is the kind of musician I want to be, Great at guitar, writes music like no other, beautiful voice and just all around gorgeous.
It's amazing what you can dig up from YouTube.....
Monday, April 5, 2010
Maple
Well I'm at a loss to be frank, but I did however come across an old poem I did for a test back in Australia. I enjoyed it and thought someone, if anyone, who looks at this would enjoy it as well.
In the distance stood an old maple tree. The bark on it weathered by timeand the etchings of lovers who had found shelter under its vast branches.The moonlight shines onto the autumn leaves, setting the limbs ablaze. Thisis where I will wait for her. I had seen her here before many years ago.She never saw me, but I was there. She and her lover had visited many timesin the past, carving their initials into the wood of the tree. It was atthis spot where they looked at the rolling fields on a summers night,catching fireflys and rolling through the grass getting it caught throughher hair.During spring the two of them picked flowers from the plains, strewing themthrough her hair and pinning them on her jeans. But she never took noticeof me. She was infatuated with her lover, staring at him with thosebeautiful blue eyes while he would set up for a picnic in the sun. Aswinter dawned, the two started to visit less. The man became very ill andwas to weak to move on. One day, the the girl came with the mans family.They buried a hole just big enough for the coffin they brought with them.At that moment, she caught a glimpse of me. Only a quick glance, but enoughto know of my presence. And now many moons later, I wait for her to visither lover. On this falls eve, the crisp air whips at the tree, and herflowing hair covers her face and sticks to the warm tears running from hereyes.At that moment our eyes meet. The feeling of loneliness dissolves from me.But she turns away and leaves me. I do not run after her. My burden keepsme chained to the spot. Her lovers death opened her eyes, but not herheart. I do not expect any less, for who could love a ghost?
In the distance stood an old maple tree. The bark on it weathered by timeand the etchings of lovers who had found shelter under its vast branches.The moonlight shines onto the autumn leaves, setting the limbs ablaze. Thisis where I will wait for her. I had seen her here before many years ago.She never saw me, but I was there. She and her lover had visited many timesin the past, carving their initials into the wood of the tree. It was atthis spot where they looked at the rolling fields on a summers night,catching fireflys and rolling through the grass getting it caught throughher hair.During spring the two of them picked flowers from the plains, strewing themthrough her hair and pinning them on her jeans. But she never took noticeof me. She was infatuated with her lover, staring at him with thosebeautiful blue eyes while he would set up for a picnic in the sun. Aswinter dawned, the two started to visit less. The man became very ill andwas to weak to move on. One day, the the girl came with the mans family.They buried a hole just big enough for the coffin they brought with them.At that moment, she caught a glimpse of me. Only a quick glance, but enoughto know of my presence. And now many moons later, I wait for her to visither lover. On this falls eve, the crisp air whips at the tree, and herflowing hair covers her face and sticks to the warm tears running from hereyes.At that moment our eyes meet. The feeling of loneliness dissolves from me.But she turns away and leaves me. I do not run after her. My burden keepsme chained to the spot. Her lovers death opened her eyes, but not herheart. I do not expect any less, for who could love a ghost?
Friday, April 2, 2010
Airports...
Well I'm surprised I made a second post. I'm proud of myself.
So as I began my mid-morning ritual of waking up at 10:30, popping some waffles in the toaster and pouring a bowl of Wheaties, I began to think of when I moved back from Australia to here into the USA. Any other time I had ever been in an airport it was a generally happy time, with maybe the exception of my departure from the US to Oz. But when I left to come back to America, the usually chipper and cheery enviroment of the Melbourne Airport became quite a solemn and dreary place. But it took me until this morning to realize that really all an airport is, is a building of emotions. Now somewhere down the line I knew a post would have a John Mayer song in it, but the only true way to describe what I mean is through his song "Wheel"...
People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it alongLet's move it along
And airports
See it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose...
See? It got me thinking that airports can play a huge role in peoples lives. If those walls could speak we could learn so much. So many life lessons and so many huge events in peoples lives have passed through those automatic doors and security scanners. And I also think we seem to take for granted everyone elses life stories. I mean if you really looked around and took into consideration other peoples life stories and experiences, you could learn alot. Those terminals are more than just little rooms connecting to a flight, there a means of moving on from one stage in life to another, or giving someone up, or even meeting someone new. There are so many emotions thrown around at airports, and I think its a beautiful thing.
So as I began my mid-morning ritual of waking up at 10:30, popping some waffles in the toaster and pouring a bowl of Wheaties, I began to think of when I moved back from Australia to here into the USA. Any other time I had ever been in an airport it was a generally happy time, with maybe the exception of my departure from the US to Oz. But when I left to come back to America, the usually chipper and cheery enviroment of the Melbourne Airport became quite a solemn and dreary place. But it took me until this morning to realize that really all an airport is, is a building of emotions. Now somewhere down the line I knew a post would have a John Mayer song in it, but the only true way to describe what I mean is through his song "Wheel"...
People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it alongLet's move it along
And airports
See it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose...
See? It got me thinking that airports can play a huge role in peoples lives. If those walls could speak we could learn so much. So many life lessons and so many huge events in peoples lives have passed through those automatic doors and security scanners. And I also think we seem to take for granted everyone elses life stories. I mean if you really looked around and took into consideration other peoples life stories and experiences, you could learn alot. Those terminals are more than just little rooms connecting to a flight, there a means of moving on from one stage in life to another, or giving someone up, or even meeting someone new. There are so many emotions thrown around at airports, and I think its a beautiful thing.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
A crisp new post...
Well here is my blog. I suppose when the word "blog" is thrown around, you think of some 40 something nerd in his mothers basement jacked up on Mountain Dew, with Warcraft minimized and the Internet up with 30 other social networking sites and redtube up in the tabs. Well I don't aim to be portrayed in that way. I just felt it was time to test my apparently "amazing but underused" writing talents. So I don't want anyone who reads this to think of it as a blog. These are my thoughts. This is a cyber Trev-brain. It's just me throwing down what I think. No emo "I hate life and no one understands me" comments here. Or nerd ass comments like "Just downloaded the new Star Trek movie, it was so crap due to the lack of Captain Kirk." or any thing like that.
Now thats said and done, My name is Trevor. I'm 16 years of age, born in Michigan. At the ripe age of twelve moved to Australia with my dad. Arrived 260 pounds, left 170. Yeah, I'm proud. Former Bulimic. Not sure if its hormones or Depression, but we'll see. I love women to death. Hate Drama. LOVE John Mayer. iPod has 13,228 songs and counting. I'm a movie fan. I love my guitars Morpheous and Georgia. I'm headed to Tennessee, somewhere near Auburntown or near Watertown, I have no clue. My father remains in Australia. My mother in Tennessee with her husband. I have 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters but there full Bros and Sis's to me. I'm open to alot of things if they sound right to me. But if I believe my beliefs are more credible than someone elses, not much can sway my opinion. I currently reside in Owosso, Michigan. It's a cute little town but its not what it used to be when you were younger. I have alot of social networking sites, but thats due to alot of friends internationaly. I'm not even sure if this is going to be viewed but it feels good to say what I want. So this being my first post, anyone who views this is free to comment. And now to cross my fingers...
Now thats said and done, My name is Trevor. I'm 16 years of age, born in Michigan. At the ripe age of twelve moved to Australia with my dad. Arrived 260 pounds, left 170. Yeah, I'm proud. Former Bulimic. Not sure if its hormones or Depression, but we'll see. I love women to death. Hate Drama. LOVE John Mayer. iPod has 13,228 songs and counting. I'm a movie fan. I love my guitars Morpheous and Georgia. I'm headed to Tennessee, somewhere near Auburntown or near Watertown, I have no clue. My father remains in Australia. My mother in Tennessee with her husband. I have 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters but there full Bros and Sis's to me. I'm open to alot of things if they sound right to me. But if I believe my beliefs are more credible than someone elses, not much can sway my opinion. I currently reside in Owosso, Michigan. It's a cute little town but its not what it used to be when you were younger. I have alot of social networking sites, but thats due to alot of friends internationaly. I'm not even sure if this is going to be viewed but it feels good to say what I want. So this being my first post, anyone who views this is free to comment. And now to cross my fingers...
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